Jennifer M Eaton’s doing a blog hop critique–250 words (plus the end of the last sentence)–you post, critique others from the list, and critique back anyone who gives you a critique.
I’ve chosen a snippet from the beginning of the second book in my Witch of Atlas series.
Background: Humans found out 23 years ago that the fey–creatures like unicorns, elves, and pixies–are real, and so is magic. Althea Raven is a witch who works as a consultant, dealing with the problems that arise from supernatural creatures interacting with humans.
Bare bones summary: Two FBI agents knock on Althea’s door. As they’re talking, something screams in the backyard. There, they discover another male agent under Althea’s dragon guardian (animated statue). Althea frees him, and reveals that she knows the agents are witches.
UPDATE: Some comments addressed.
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“Of course. Only new witches can’t tell one from the other.” Althea considered. “Or minor powers. I’m neither.”
“We know,” the man with the dimples said. “Which’s why we’re here. Are you sure we can’t go in? I could use a glass of water after tussling with your guardian.”
“It didn’t tussle. It sat on you,” Althea headed to her back porch, and took one of the two wooden benches there. “The porch is all you get.”
The woman and the crooked-nosed man sat on the other bench, and the auburn-haired man perched next to Althea. He leaned toward her, elbow propped on his knee, chin cradled in his palm, and eyes raised to Althea’s face. “Okay. But I hope you take pity on me. I’m pretty thirsty.” He put on a woebegone expression.
“Stop flirting,” Althea slid away from him, turning so he wouldn’t see the laughter in her eyes. He clearly didn’t need encouragement. “You’re making me nervous.”
The woman laughed. “I knew she wouldn’t buy it, Lamington. Move.” She and Lamington switched places.
The man with the crooked nose smiled at Althea, his shoulders relaxed and legs stretched out. His rugged features had character even if they weren’t exactly handsome. “So, why dragons?”
“Is that what this is about?” Althea leaned back on the bench, relieved to finally know why they were so desperate to see inside her house. “Dragons?” <Diamond?> She asked in her mind.
Diamond flew out the open window and landed on Althea’s lap. The fairy cat posed to show off her butterfly wings and the white diamond on her forehead to their best advantage. <Do these morons have any idea how lucky they are His Toothy-ness isn’t home?>
Althea glanced at the agents to see if Diamond had kept that comment private. The flitmuir could control who heard her telepathic speech, but often chose not to. This time, it appeared she’d behaved herself.
<Mortals> Diamond snorted, curling up in her witch’s lap.
“I’m Special Agent Smith. This is SA Papadakis, and SA Lamington. And yes, this is about your knowledge of the fey,” Smith smoothed her already-perfect bun of golden brown hair.
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