***~***~***~***~Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone!***~***~***~***
Jennifer M Eaton’s doing a blog hop critique–250 words (plus the end of the last sentence)–you post, critique others from the list, and critique back anyone who gives you a critique.
This is from Changeable, which will be a YA urban fantasy with two narrators. I’m experimenting farther from my comfort zone on this one, so I may fail, but I’m enjoying the effort.
Link to Part 1, if you need it.
Summary: Evelyn and Mabel are at the beach. While Ev watches two dolphins, Mabel yells that they need to go. Both spot someone headed from the water to shore, and wait instead. The tide washes some seaweed on Evelyn’s bare foot.
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I took a step back from the slimy plant, but it entangled my toes. I hopped backwards, shaking my contaminated foot to free myself. When that failed, I leaned down and flicked the seaweed back into the water.
“It won’t hurt you,” a male voice said.
I straightened. While I’d been escaping the floating plant life, the swimmer had reached shore, and now stood a few feet away. He wasn’t, in fact, anyone I knew, so I took the opportunity to study him.
White blond hair plastered against his head and dripped into hazel eyes. The swimmer’s golden tan was pretty standard for Santa Monica. His choice of attire, dark green swim shorts, displayed a swimmer’s build, lean and muscled. Nice, but judging from that grim expression, not friendly.
“Ev!” Mabel’s a tolerant soul, which is probably the reason she hasn’t murdered me yet. But she was reaching her boiling point.
The smirking Adonis still waited for me to respond, and I thought about defending myself. I wasn’t one of those girly girls who perfected her tan, never got in the water, and ran shrieking from dead fish and aggressive seagulls. Instead, I turned on my heel and I raced back to Mabel.
“Yeah, run! That’s what they all do!” He yelled, condescension dripping from his voice.
Mother says a lady rises above pettiness, and really, I try to let jerky comments go. But I can’t help but be angry. Sometimes, I don’t want to swallow it down to burn in the pit of my stomach.
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Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!