This 8 sentence blog hop is hosted by The Weekend Writing Warriors. (Click the link for the list of participants, or rules if you want to join!)

Continues from my last snippet of “Lily Wasn’t There” –Becca watches Lily work, while avoiding any work of her own. Last line: “I thought Vicki’d never shut up about the Fazio account.”

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“She thinks she’s better than everyone.” Irving shuffled through the pile of folders on his desk, dislodging one that spilled its contents across the brown and gray speckled carpet.

“Like we don’t all have the same job.” Becca eased her feet out of her new Miu Miu heels, and rubbed at the red marks on her ankles as Irving chattered on and picked up his mess. She’d learned to tune him out—he’d talk forever about his favorite sports team or boring reality show.

Irving finally finished chasing down all the paper and fell silent. He crumpled up discarded pages and tossed them one at a time at his trashcan, which he kept at the end of his desk for target practice.

“Was Lily at the meeting?” Becca glanced to her left at Lily’s desk.

*  *  *

“Lily Wasn’t There” is a short story I can’t quite get right. I’m hoping the feedback from WeWriWa will help.

Becca’s life hasn’t gone how she planned. Stuck in an accounting job she despises, she scrapes by with a paycheck that doesn’t buy her half of what she deserves. She wants to find a man before she’s thirty, get married, and never work another day in her life. While at work, she people-watches, and one particular coworker is often the focus of her attention–Lily. Lily is everything Becca hates–buttoned-up, bland, and overly dedicated to her job–or so Becca thinks.

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About Caitlin Stern

I have a MA in English, and have so many fantasy/urban fantasy WIPs it's not even funny. I'm an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, mystery, romance, biography, fiction, and anything else that catches my interest. I collect books, and bookmarks I find that are visually appealing and useful.

12 responses »

  1. I thought Becca was a the meeting.

  2. Good description of an office I feel like I might have worked in at one point LOL. Since you asked, I’m having a hard time figuring out where the story is going. I don’t like Becca so far, but then I worry – am I supposed to? Is she the heroine? and what’s up with Lily…so you definitely have my interest piqued, which is always good!

  3. burnsmillie says:

    This is my first WeWriWa weekend, so I went back to read the beginning of the story. I’m kind of feeling like Veronica. I don’t like Becca at all. Why the hell should her father support her financially if she’s nearly 30? Grow up. She sounds like a spoiled little brat. And, if she was at the meeting, wouldn’t she know if Lily was there too? The writing itself is good : )

  4. Really like the detail about the shoes and them hurting her ankles. And I so agree about sports shows and reality TV! Enjoyed your 8! 😀

  5. theeternalscribe says:

    Well, if you want help, I once helped another author work out the ending to her novel. Email is danielleforrest@theeternalscribe.com

  6. I’m kind of with the others in not liking Becca very much. She definitely comes off as a spoiled brat. But at the same time, I find it kind of funny that she complains about Lily so much – when she shows just how little attention she actually pays at work by not even knowing if the girl was at the meeting she just got out of.

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