This 8 sentence blog hop is hosted by The Weekend Writing Warriors. (Click the link for the list of participants, or rules if you want to join!)

Continues from my last snippet of “Lily Wasn’t There” –Becca watches Lily work, while avoiding any work of her own. Last line: Becca approaches her boss about a new account: I’m not entirely clear on a few of the details…”

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“Why don’t you ask Lily?” Mr. Williams glanced at his watch, “She had it previously.”

Becca fixed a bright smile on her face, “Of course, sir. I’ll go ask her now.”

Why’d it have to be Lily?

At her desk, Becca straightened her folders, and squared off her stapler, hole-punch, and container of paperclips, all glossy pink with her name neatly written on the bottom so no one would steal them. She checked her lipstick in her pink floral mirror, and then looked over to where Lily sat. Lily wasn’t at her desk.

With a sigh, she walked over to search Lily’s desk for a clue to where Lily might be.

*  *  *

“Lily Wasn’t There” is a short story I can’t quite get right. I’m hoping the feedback from WeWriWa will help.

Becca’s life hasn’t gone how she planned. Stuck in an accounting job she despises, she scrapes by with a paycheck that doesn’t buy her half of what she deserves. She wants to find a man before she’s thirty, get married, and never work another day in her life. While at work, she people-watches, and one particular coworker is often the focus of her attention–Lily. Lily is everything Becca hates–buttoned-up, bland, and overly dedicated to her job–or so Becca thinks.

 

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About Caitlin Stern

I have a MA in English, and have so many fantasy/urban fantasy WIPs it's not even funny. I'm an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, mystery, romance, biography, fiction, and anything else that catches my interest. I collect books, and bookmarks I find that are visually appealing and useful.

20 responses »

  1. I’m really curious at what she is going to discover on Lily’s desk. 😀

  2. Becca isn’t very likeable, is she? I can’t wait to find out Lily’s secret.

  3. Eleri Stone says:

    I’m curious about Lily’s secret too. She does seem like the more sympathetic character. It’s interesting seeing her through Becca’s eyes.

    • caitlinstern says:

      That’s what I was going for–I realized most narrators are very good at reading people, knowing their personality, etc. But real people just aren’t generally that skilled.

      So Becca’s version of Lily isn’t all there.

  4. historysleuth1 says:

    What a snoop huh? I love how she focuses on wasting so much time on arranging her desk and herself. I like this story. You have Becca’s traits for the type of character you want to present down to a tee I think.

    (No snippet for me this week. 🙂 )

  5. Frank Fisher says:

    Becca isn’t the most likeable character. I’d like know where Lily is? Good 8!

  6. Gemma Parkes says:

    I can sense a little girlie OCD going on with Becca, she doesn’t seem to have much time for Lily, can’t wait to find out why!

  7. Evelyn Jules says:

    Ah, intrigue! I loved the little details you included, like writing her name on the bottom of her office supplies so no one steals them. Quite the character. Looking forward to next week! 🙂

  8. Debbie says:

    These little details about Becca are so telling, (and not the least bit flattering, but, that’s what you’re going for, yes?) 😀 She’s a great character!

  9. Alicia Dean says:

    This snippet reveals a lot about Becca, about her personality. Great job that you did that in so few words.

  10. Millie Burns says:

    Uh oh, she’s gonna go snooping…what will she find?

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