This 8 sentence blog hop is hosted by The Weekend Writing Warriors. (Click the link for the list of participants, or rules if you want to join!)

Continues from my last snippet of “Lily Wasn’t There” –Becca watches Lily work, while avoiding any work of her own. Last line: Becca is sent to get details of a new account from Lily, who is not at her desk.

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There was nothing on the surface except Lily’s computer, phone, and in and out trays. Two photographs taped to the wall caught Becca’s attention. The first was of a teenage Lily holding a dark-haired, brown-eyed baby. One of those stupid awareness ribbons, a zebra-print one, was stuck next to the picture.

The second picture was of a grown-up Lily standing next to a blue-eyed toddler and a handsome blond man.

That’s weird. Does Lily have kids?

It didn’t seem likely that she’d catch a man’s eye with the way she dressed, with hardly any cleavage showing and no dresses above the knee.

*   *   *   *   *   *

“Lily Wasn’t There” is a short story I can’t quite get right. I’m hoping the feedback from WeWriWa will help.

Becca’s life hasn’t gone how she planned. Stuck in an accounting job she despises, she scrapes by with a paycheck that doesn’t buy her half of what she deserves. She wants to find a man before she’s thirty, get married, and never work another day in her life. While at work, she people-watches, and one particular coworker is often the focus of her attention–Lily. Lily is everything Becca hates–buttoned-up, bland, and overly dedicated to her job–or so Becca thinks.

About Caitlin Stern

I have a MA in English, and have so many fantasy/urban fantasy WIPs it's not even funny. I'm an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, mystery, romance, biography, fiction, and anything else that catches my interest. I collect books, and bookmarks I find that are visually appealing and useful.

16 responses »

  1. Frank Fisher says:

    Her last thought raises questions, I’m wondering what’s up with Lily. I’m sure readers will want to know more about her too. Nice 8!

  2. Whether you can’t get it right or not, I’d certainly say you’ve captured a nice little bit of mystery in just those 8 sentences. Keep it up!

  3. Gemma Parkes says:

    Curious photo’s wonder what’s going on. The last sentence made me laugh, that Beccy doesn’t have much tact does she!

  4. Millie Burns says:

    I’m guessing Lily works so hard to provide for her little one. She had to grow up fast!

  5. Well at least we know a bit more about Lily, albeit through the less-than-reliable filter of Becca LOL. Terrific snippet, could “see” the scene very well.

  6. It seems that Becca would be surprised at what actually catch a man’s attention. She is really too funny.

  7. Many times we know so little about the co-workers around us, and we make quick, superficial judgments that turn out to be wrong. Everyone has a story and we all have our troubles.

    I think Becca may be in for a surprise, if her curiosity about Lily’s life leads to a revelation that the person she thinks has it “most together” is really the most to feel compassion for. That would be a life transformational event for Becca… and would likely cause her to enjoy her life a lot more. At least, that’s what I’m hoping for 🙂

    Really nice snippet, Caitlyn!

  8. Lynn Crain says:

    Very interesting tidbits from your short story. Makes me wonder about Lily and Becca. Can’t wait to read more!

  9. historysleuth1 says:

    Oh the mysterious Lily! So what is up with her anyway. I’m with Becca this time.

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