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Continues from my last snippet of “Lily Wasn’t There” –Becca watches Lily work, while avoiding any work of her own. Last line: Becca is sent to get details of a new account from Lily, who is not at her desk, and rummages at her desk for clues, finding two pictures of Lily: as a teen holding a dark-haired and eyed baby, and grown up, with a blue-eyed toddler and a blond man.
Curious, Becca pulled up the first picture to look on the back, where “Emma” was written in black permanent marker. As she reached for the second picture, someone cleared their throat behind her. Becca flinched and turned.
Lily stood behind her, a stack of folders tucked under her arm.
Unsettled, Becca took refuge in critiquing Lily’s outfit—another boring suit, this one gray with a lighter gray pinstripe, and a purple shell. Becca smoothed the ruffles on her aqua suit jacket and tugged at the middle shirt button that always seemed to come undone.
“Can I help you?” Lily’s hazel eyes showed no emotion Becca could read.
“Mr. Williams said I should ask you about the Montemayor account.”
* * * * * *
“Lily Wasn’t There” is a short story I can’t quite get right. I’m hoping the feedback from WeWriWa will help.
Becca’s life hasn’t gone how she planned. Stuck in an accounting job she despises, she scrapes by with a paycheck that doesn’t buy her half of what she deserves. She wants to find a man before she’s thirty, get married, and never work another day in her life. While at work, she people-watches, and one particular coworker is often the focus of her attention–Lily. Lily is everything Becca hates–buttoned-up, bland, and overly dedicated to her job–or so Becca thinks.
Oh, there’s trouble for Becca ahead. She won’t get away with snooping at Lily’s pictures. Great how you have Lily come up behind her like this. Nice 8!
It’s always fun to mess with your characters. 😉
Oops! Caught snooping! I like that Lilly gave away nothing. Nice job. Let’s see if Becca’s answer is good enough. I somehow doubt it. 🙂
History Sleuth’s Milk Carton Murders
I don’t know how *anyone* could justify casually rifling through someone’s stuff…
Finally, Lilly!!! I loved the scene, so uncomfortable inagoodway. Can’t wait for more. Great snippet.
Becca is the ultimate in awkward co-workers. Snobby and nosy and rude. 😛
I like that Becca’s dialogue doesn’t show she’s unsettled.
Becca, at least, gives good ‘poker face.’
Very fun this week…and Lilly was there! This eight was delightful, nice to see Becca squirm a bit, even if she didn’t show it to Lilly!
Becca will squirm plenty before the story’s over, promise. 🙂
Lily’s response shows her strong nature, and I can’t help but hope that Becca’s curiosity will turn to admiration…. but I wonder how Lily’s story will unfold. The more I learn about Lily, the more I want to see what has happened in her life!
Lily’s quiet, but tough, something Becca’s too shallow to realize.
All you’ll ever get is hints–we’ll see if they’re enough! 🙂
I’m enjoying these characters and look forward to reading more!
Glad to hear it!
Love how you’ve managed to convey the awkwardness at the end of the snippet. Well done!
Nothing like someone you dislike, but have to deal with because they work with you to bring out the restrained rage and polite distaste…
Nice encounter here. Looking forward to see how Becca explains herself. Great excerpt! 🙂
She will do it in a very ‘Becca’ way. 😉
tss tss Becca, it’s not good to put your nose in other people’s stuff.
Becca isn’t much concerned with being polite to the little people. 😛
Hey, there’s Lilly! 😛 Even tho Becca is a character we’re not supposed to really like, I like that she is so consistent with her personality. She also is very interesting to me, to see how she thinks. I enjoy these posts!
You can like Becca. I do. 🙂 She’s a bit of a human train wreck, but I find that interesting. (Especially since she’s not real.)