This 8 sentence blog hop is hosted by The Weekend Writing Warriors. (Click the link for the list of participants, or rules if you want to join!)

Continues from my last snippet of “Lily Wasn’t There” –Becca watches Lily work, while avoiding any work of her own. Last line: Becca is sent to get details of a new account from Lily, who is not at her desk, and rummages for clues until Lily returns and catches Becca snooping. Becca takes a folder from Lily, and sulks at her desk.

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After half an hour had passed, she flipped open the file Lily had given her with a deep sigh.

*  *  *  *

That afternoon, Becca clattered down the stairs, deciding that three flights in heels was a better deal than waiting with the horrid crowd in front of the elevators, since she was already late for lunch. She shoved open the stairwell door, nearly hitting a man in the lobby.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Becca stepped out of the way.

“It’s okay,” the man replied, bending to pick up the blond toddler at his side. “Come on, Danny, let’s go see Mommy.”

Becca frowned at the man, running her eyes over his broad shoulders and chiseled features. “Do I know you?”

*   *   *   *   *   *

“Lily Wasn’t There” is a short story I can’t quite get right. I’m hoping the feedback from WeWriWa will help.

Becca’s life hasn’t gone how she planned. Stuck in an accounting job she despises, she scrapes by with a paycheck that doesn’t buy her half of what she deserves. She wants to find a man before she’s thirty, get married, and never work another day in her life. While at work, she people-watches, and one particular coworker is often the focus of her attention–Lily. Lily is everything Becca hates–buttoned-up, bland, and overly dedicated to her job–or so Becca thinks.

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About Caitlin Stern

I have a MA in English, and have so many fantasy/urban fantasy WIPs it's not even funny. I'm an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, mystery, romance, biography, fiction, and anything else that catches my interest. I collect books, and bookmarks I find that are visually appealing and useful.

35 responses »

  1. Frank Fisher says:

    I like that last line. Makes me wonder if he’s someone from her past. Can’t wait to hear what his response is.

  2. Gemma Parkes says:

    Does she? Way to pull us in! Great imagery and action.

  3. Sarah Cass says:

    Hmmm…wonder who it is…

  4. Si is this the man and the child from Lily’s photo? I hope Becca isn’t going to flirt with him! Intriguing snippet!

  5. Wonder if “Mommy” is Lily.

  6. Good job of showing us a bit more of who Becca is in a few lines. And a cliffhanger, to boot. Nice snippet!

  7. Millie Burns says:

    Ah, Becca. You’d better leave this guy alone! Nice Caitlin!

  8. Bet this guy belongs to Lily.

  9. Michelle says:

    great tease. I wonder if this is Lily’s man. I know Becca is dying to find out just like I am. LOL

  10. Oooh. I’ll be interested to see who the mystery man is. 🙂

  11. Hmmm…does she know him? I like the premise of this story, Caitlin. It has such potential! Nice 8 🙂

  12. I can see that Becca is going to have a lot to think about over lunch.

  13. Beth Rhodes says:

    Who IS this mystery man and child? Nice teaser!

  14. chellecordero says:

    I only just joined WEWRIWA and I didn’t read your excerpt from last week – but Becca reminds me (not in a kind way) of some coworkers from years ago who were busier with other peoples’ business than their own. And yes I wonder if the man belongs to Lily AND if Becca might have some history with him as well. Interesting possibilities.

  15. ED Martin says:

    I’m guessing this guy belongs to Lily. I hope Becca leaves him alone but I’m guessing not, because where would the drama be in that? 🙂

  16. Whoa, she apologized? Becca has a softer side! 😛 Ooo, and who is Mr. Mysterious? Does she know him?? Great hook!

  17. I love the setup for this story, and of course I want to know what happens next. Intriguing snippet!

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