This 8 sentence blog hop is hosted by The Weekend Writing Warriors. (Click the link for the list of participants, or rules if you want to join!)

Last lines: Becca, out shopping, sees Lily, Lily’s husband, child, and dog having a picnic–and it makes her angry that she isn’t married herself.


A week later, Becca sat at her desk, working on a job application. Her phone rang, a light indicating it was the internal line, so she picked it up immediately, “Rebecca Carver speaking.”

“Rebecca, will you come to my office?”

“Of course, Mr. Williams,” Becca cradled the phone.

I hope he’s going to give me the promotion everyone’s been talking about. If I don’t start making more money soon, I’ll have to quit.

Becca paused before her boss’ door to smooth her hair and knocked twice.

“Come in and close the door.”

*   *   *   *   *   *

“Lily Wasn’t There” is a short story I can’t quite get right. I’m hoping the feedback from WeWriWa will help.

Becca’s life hasn’t gone how she planned. Stuck in an accounting job she despises, she scrapes by with a paycheck that doesn’t buy her half of what she deserves. She wants to find a man before she’s thirty, get married, and never work another day in her life. While at work, she people-watches, and one particular coworker is often the focus of her attention–Lily. Lily is everything Becca hates–buttoned-up, bland, and overly dedicated to her job–or so Becca thinks.

About Caitlin Stern

I have a MA in English, and have so many fantasy/urban fantasy WIPs it's not even funny. I'm an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, mystery, romance, biography, fiction, and anything else that catches my interest. I collect books, and bookmarks I find that are visually appealing and useful.

30 responses »

  1. Cara Bristol says:

    Hmm…methinks she’s not going to be getting a promotion…

  2. The plot thickens. You’ve left us in suspense and that’s always a good thing. What happens next? Good eight.

  3. Millie Burns says:

    I hope she gets the boot, not a promotion. Nice eight that leaves us hanging : )

  4. S.J. Maylee says:

    Gulp! Man, I hated those meetings, lol. Great pull of emotion and fabulous cliffhanger. 🙂

  5. Oh dear, I think Ms. Becca is in trouble, forget the promotion. Great snippet!

  6. Sarah W says:

    She said she would have to quit, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to be fired. Then again, maybe he’ll make a pass and she’ll have the chance to make another poor life decision . . .

  7. Gemma Parkes says:

    Wonder what her boss wants? Hmm, might be good news? Like the way you’ve got us all thinking about it! Great snippet.

  8. Somehow I doubt it’s good news.

  9. Carrie-Anne says:

    I doubt she’s got a new job lined up if she quits for lack of a raise!

    • caitlinstern says:

      She was searching for one (on company time, no less) and she planned on finding one before she quits. The fact that companies can see what you do on your computers… doesn’t seem to have occurred to Becca.

  10. Sarah Cass says:

    I’m guessing this meeting isn’t quite what Becca’s expecting. Wonder how she’ll take it when it’s not.

  11. Great 8. Not sure if I hope she gets the promotion so she’ll be happier … or if I want her to get the boot because of her attitude. Nice place to leave the reader hanging…waiting to find out. Good job.

  12. chellecordero says:

    Seems the young lady is bound for disappointment. Great snippet, leaves us hanging and waiting for more.

  13. Feeling the conflict, here. I have a feeling Rebecca is not getting that promotion. A very good 8.

  14. Evelyn Jules says:

    I’m with everyone else. Not looking like she’ll be getting that promotion, but I’ll be interested to see how the scene plays out. Great work, Caitlin! 🙂

  15. Ruh roh! What’s gonna happen? I’d be a wreck! Tense 8. 🙂

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