This 8 sentence blog hop is hosted by The Weekend Writing Warriors. (Click the link for the list of participants, or rules if you want to join!)

Last lines: Becca has just been fired, and is cleaning out her desk. Lily: “Did you quit?”

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“No, I was fired, not that it’s any of your business,” Becca thumped her clock into the box.

“Congratulations on your promotion, Irving!” Vicki said from the other side of the divider.

“Irving got my promotion?” Becca’s sunflower mouse-pad slipped through her fingers to the floor.

Irving walked around the corner, a wide smile on his face. He stopped when he noticed Becca standing next to her denuded desk. “Oh.”

*   *   *   *   *   *

NOTE: I’m doing NaNoWriMo this month, so expect my replies to your comments to be a little slow, but I’ll get to you, promise.

“Lily Wasn’t There” is a short story I can’t quite get right. I’m hoping the feedback from WeWriWa will help.

Becca’s life hasn’t gone how she planned. Stuck in an accounting job she despises, she scrapes by with a paycheck that doesn’t buy her half of what she deserves. She wants to find a man before she’s thirty, get married, and never work another day in her life. While at work, she people-watches, and one particular coworker is often the focus of her attention–Lily. Lily is everything Becca hates–buttoned-up, bland, and overly dedicated to her job–or so Becca thinks.

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About Caitlin Stern

I have a MA in English, and have so many fantasy/urban fantasy WIPs it's not even funny. I'm an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, mystery, romance, biography, fiction, and anything else that catches my interest. I collect books, and bookmarks I find that are visually appealing and useful.

26 responses »

  1. Heather Boyd says:

    Yeah, don’t gloat too much Irving. Great 8

  2. Anne Lange says:

    Poor Becca. Great snippet!

  3. Just really not Becca’s day. Will she learn anything from this? You’ve certainly made her very real to me – terrific excerpt!

  4. Millie Burns says:

    Ah ha ha. Gloat all you want Irving! She deserves it. I have a feeling she won’t learn a damn thing though…it’s all someone else’s fault.

  5. Gemma Parkes says:

    ‘Oh’ indeed! But Becca will have to learn…the hard way!

  6. Is she capable of learning?

    • caitlinstern says:

      I think so. She just needs a bigger whack upside the head than most people, to get her attention.

      A negative performance review would be enough for most people, but not for Becca…

  7. Carrie-Anne says:

    Seems like she’s made a horrible impression on her co-workers, if they couldn’t even wait till she were out the door to start celebrating.

  8. Debbie says:

    Quite the bitter pill for Becca to swallow, but, she deserved it. People like her usually bounce back, though.

  9. Evelyn Jules says:

    Uh-oh. I fear for Irving. lol. Great eight, Caitlin, and best of luck with NaNo! 🙂

  10. ldsmith1818 says:

    Oh man….I totally feel sorry for her, part of me wants to kick that Irving guy in the groin lol. I hope next week we see her getting revenge! 🙂 Great snippet, you really had me empathizing with her.

  11. Oh it gets even better. Becca is having a hell of a day, again!

  12. Sarah W says:

    Leapfrogged by a guy named ‘Irving.’ That’s adding perceived insult to perceived injury!

    I’ll bet he cheated his way into that promotion by working hard. The nerve. 😉

  13. Poor Becca! That Irving jerk had to rub it in her face. Grrr. Love how my emotions have changed toward Becca. Definitely sympathetic now. Great job! Love this line: Becca standing next to her denuded desk. “Oh.” Wonderful description. 🙂

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