This 8 sentence blog hop is hosted by The Weekend Writing Warriors. (Click the link for the list of participants, or rules if you want to join!)

Last lines: Becca has just been fired, and Irving got the promotion she wanted, so she has a temper tantrum, kicking over his trashcan and pouring the coffee pot over his desk. Irving: “I’m glad you’re fired. Who’d want to work with a psycho like you?”

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Becca lunged at him, and this time her hand connected solidly with his jaw. Her palm throbbed, but she’d left a gratifyingly bright red mark on his cheek. 

Good, he earned that, too.

Before she could hit him again, two men from security pulled her away.

“Becca!” Vicki’s hands fluttered, nervously smoothing her hair and clothing. “What’s wrong with you? You need to calm down before you get into more trouble, and-”

*   *   *   *   *   *

“Lily Wasn’t There” is a short story I can’t quite get right. I’m hoping the feedback from WeWriWa will help.

Becca’s life hasn’t gone how she planned. Stuck in an accounting job she despises, she scrapes by with a paycheck that doesn’t buy her half of what she deserves. She wants to find a man before she’s thirty, get married, and never work another day in her life. While at work, she people-watches, and one particular coworker is often the focus of her attention–Lily. Lily is everything Becca hates–buttoned-up, bland, and overly dedicated to her job–or so Becca thinks.

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About Caitlin Stern

I have a MA in English, and have so many fantasy/urban fantasy WIPs it's not even funny. I'm an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, mystery, romance, biography, fiction, and anything else that catches my interest. I collect books, and bookmarks I find that are visually appealing and useful.

22 responses »

  1. I can see why she lost her cool. I hope thing work out better for her. Can’t wait to find out. Great 8!

  2. What happens next, Caitlin? Is she going to grow up and get over herself-survive and thrive or what? This reader wants to know.

  3. Gemma Parkes says:

    Leave now Beccy, that girl needs anger management!

  4. burnsmillie says:

    She’s gonna land herself in jail. I hope : )

  5. She always makes things worse for herself, doesn’t she? The end will be interesting…

  6. Carrie-Anne says:

    She keeps going from bad to worse! Is there going to be any sort of redemption or maturation by the end?

    • caitlinstern says:

      Not really. I envision it happening down the road a ways, but I never wrote it because the story isn’t really about Becca.

      I think I’ll write an epilogue for the inquiring minds. 🙂

  7. Evelyn Jules says:

    What a woman. Interesting place to end the snippet. I somehow have a feeling Becca is gonna lunge at Vicki now! lol

    • caitlinstern says:

      I pretty much count eight sentences (maybe nine and toss in a semicolon) and call it good. Most of my endings would not fall where they do, were I to break this up for someone to read!

  8. Sarah W says:

    If this story isn’t about Becca, is it about Lily?

    I’m enjoying Becca in that rubber-necking train wreck kind of way, but I want to know more about Lily, too . . .

  9. Well-written beginning of taking a nutty. Nicely done. 🙂

  10. She sure needs to grow up.

  11. Oh my! She is a little bit extreme. I was wondering when the security guys were going to show up.

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