r bull2refugio pig grill

These are some kind of grill, or smoker–the handle lifts up, and there’s very definitely something intended for cooking inside, but that is not my area of expertise.

These things are very large–hard to tell with the over-sized chair in the background of the first picture, and pretty well designed and detailed, etc. When I first saw them, I thought they were sculpture, because Texans show a complete willingness to stick a life-size or nearly so statue of a longhorn in their yard.

But I am pretty sure attempting to cook a steak or pork ribs in one of these should result in their eyes glowing red, and their coming to life to wreak vengeance on you for the slain. Perhaps you’d have your back turned to grab a beer, and you’d hear the metallic scuff of a hoof against your patio, and a hot gust of air against your skin…

You turn around, clutching your spatula, and see your grill staring at you, smoke trickling from its nostrils, wicked metal horns glinting in the early evening sun…

It’s probably best not to risk it.



About Caitlin Stern

I have a MA in English, and have so many fantasy/urban fantasy WIPs it's not even funny. I'm an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, mystery, romance, biography, fiction, and anything else that catches my interest. I collect books, and bookmarks I find that are visually appealing and useful.

7 responses »

  1. Marcia says:

    Hahaha. I love the image of the grill turning on the grillmaster! That would be pretty scary. I’m not too sure how I feel about cooking a hog INSIDE of a hog. Eeew. But honestly, they really are kind of cool to look at. Except now I have that image of them coming to life, belching smoke and fire, and eager for revenge. 😯

    • caitlinstern says:

      I don’t know what it says about me that the grill, eyes blazing, coming for vengeance was my first thought…

      …other than that I have an active and strange imagination. 😉

      But I’m always glad to share the strange!

  2. suisiadh says:

    Hmm not sure I could bring myself to use one for all your same reasons.

  3. Have you seen the Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010)? There is a scene where a bull statue in New York City comes alive and tries to gorge Balthazar. These pictures, and your description, matched this perfectly.

    I could see these being a really neat steampunk prompt for a short story or novel.

    • caitlinstern says:

      Yes, I have seen that movie. The idea of statues–and dolls, or pretty much anything with eyes–coming alive and attacking you is a lot of places.

      Even though we make representations of people and animals, I think plenty of us are a little worried what might happen in an uprising. 😉

What are your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.