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“Jabberwock Keys” is a complete just-for-fun short story that could use some polishing. A sorcerer hires a jabberwock named Daisy to guard his treasure, given a silver flute to summon her, they return to his tower on a spire of rocks, going through a tunnel to the top of the cliffs, and he gives her two of the three keys required to unlock a chest with his most important treasures.
Several weeks later, Magnus realized he hadn’t caught so much of a glimpse of his new guard, and so he circled his tower, strode through the tunnels, and paused at the base of the cliffs, frowning because he hadn’t spotted her anywhere.
Something nudged him from behind.
Magnus froze, and slowly, carefully, looked over his shoulder. Stretching on the ground behind him, weaving between rocks, and hardly visible except for the end that twitched in the air next to him was a long fine-scaled tail.
And crouched in a circle of boulders, a coating of dust dulling the gleam of her brown and green hide, looking remarkably like a stone, was the Jabberwock. Her head poked out over the top of a boulder, and she chortled, then ducked back out of view.
Magnus could only imagine the surprise on some thief’s face when she rose up from those boulders, wings spread. In fact, he was almost looking forward to it.
* * *
Playful Jabberwock is playful! And deadly! And flirty! And awesome! 😀
Caitlin . . . what bribe could i offer to get you to send me this entire story?
The draft needs more than the random cutting and editing patches I’ve been doing to share it for WeWriWa, but I’ll try to get that done soon.
When I do, I’ll let you know. No bribes required. 😉
Yes!! \o/
A thief would be no doubt surprised by her presence! No wonder Magnus wants to see it. Very nice work again with the details of the scenery. Good snippet!
It’s so much more fun when those kinds of ‘surprises’ are happening to someone else.
Yes indeed it is!
The Jabberwock is playing hide and seek. What a sense of humor you have to write this delicious story. Thanks, Caitlin.
Daisy’s too big to be quiet moving through a forest, but a mostly dirt and boulder location like Magnus’ tower is perfect for her.
Glad you’re enjoying it. 🙂
I LOVE the Jabberwock. She’s an excellent character and I enjoy how many surprises you’ve given us already with regard to her. Excellent excerpt!
This is the kind of story where I asked a bunch of ‘what if’ questions, and went with whatever answers I liked.
Part of the reason I love fantasy so much is that the answers can be extremely weird, and that’s okay.
Daisy is so flippin’ awesome! I think the first paragraph could be tightened and show his frustration maybe with shorter sentences, rather than the run on. It would feel more clipped and make him seem frustrated. I dunno, just my humble opinion. But, I love this story, and I can’t wait to see a thief take a chance too!
Oh, yes–assume most of these sentences are two or even three in the original draft, and you’ll be right more often than not.
Creative punctuation is at work, here. 😉
Okay, I’m imagining less of a Jabberwock and more of a frightening/flying/serpentine housecat. This is hilarious! 🙂
Daisy is kind of cat-like, somehow. The Jabberwock in the poem is more straight forward, but he or she also got beheaded… so maybe Daisy is a bit smarter.
Aw, Daisy is the best! Camouflaged and playful, though I’m sure a thief will find her less amusing. Enjoying the crap out of this story!
She could tell Magnus was looking for her, so she was letting him know she was there. Scaring the robes off him was a bonus. 😉
Love the comic suspense, details and surprise. Daisy is a wonderful character
This story is absolutely about Daisy. Magnus is a support character, and doesn’t even know it. 🙂
That’s some great camouflage! The Jabberwock is such a fun character.
When you’re as big as a boulder… a couple of branches aren’t going to do the trick to hide you.
Also, I suspect there’s magic involved. Daisy does get paid in magical items, after all–and this isn’t her first job.
LOVE IT! Daisy has a sense of humour;). Fabulous 8!
Yes, she does. It’s a little wicked, perhaps. 🙂
Great imagery and upbeat snippet!
Thanks! Daisy’s a lot of fun to write.
I can see Daisy so clearly now, you’ve done an amazing job of bringing her to life and giving her a charming personality. Though I doubt if a thief would find her very charming.
She’s more than a little terrifying. But I don’t think being an enormous, carnivorous, winged creature with massive claws and sharp teeth means you can’t have a sense of humor.
It just probably means most of the laughter you get is very nervous. 😉