This 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by The Weekend Writing Warriors. (Click the link for the list of participants, or rules if you want to join!)
This is a WIP, NaNoWriMo 2015, Forest Wed. Adann and Kaie (who was engaged), are married as symbols of their gods, and 2 weeks into their marriage, the gods’ blessing and the town are suffering, so they are sent on a hunting trip with two experienced hunters (Rui and Corliss). On the third day, Kaie and Adann are talking, and when Adann asks for a kiss, Kaie reacts badly and storms off alone, running into an angry ryapi (ocelot/boar monster)–which they manage to kill. Last lines: “Did we kill it?” “Yes.”
“Oh, thank the gods.” Adann pressed her hand to her heart, drawing in a few deep breaths, “when it knocked you down, I thought my heart might leap out of my throat.”
Watching her stand there, one arm wrapped around herself, still measuring the thump of her blood, and pale, Kaie felt the anger drain out of him.
“Now, we definitely need to find the others, and you need so many bandages.” She hurried to him, her hands skating over his injuries, skimming the air above each cut, “I was worried he’d really got you, but these aren’t very deep.”
After doing a quick scan of the area, she led him over to a moss covered stump, and handed him a cloth, a little pot of ointment, and the crushed herbs for paste. “Get what you can, and I’ll try to find Rui and Corliss.”
Before she stepped away, she touched his shoulder gently, on an unscratched area, “Are you okay, Kaie?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I’m not sure I am,” she responded.
* * *
~~~***I’ll be doing National Novel Writing Month in November, so I may be slow in my replies, but I’ll still be blogging! Good luck to all the NaNoWriMos! ***~~~
Beikife is a small town in something like the Amazon rain forest, protected by a pair of married gods. The gods are represented by human avatars, two young people chosen and married by divine power. The strength of the marriage represents the bond between the gods’ blessing, so the new forest wed must find a way to connect to each other, or the crops will fail, the rivers will flood, and the cursed monsters that live in the forest will claim many
Adann’s reactions are strong and visceral. Kaie’s reaction, on the other hand, are enigmatic — which makes his “Why wouldn’t I be?” sound perfect.
At this point, they still really don’t understand each other yet. Kaie’s not so good at opening up!
I agree with Ed, but it’s Adann’s “I don’t think I am” that got my attention. Nicely done as always, Caitlin!
I’m not sure what’s scarier–being attacked by an animal, or thinking your husband is about to be killed by an animal. But Kaie was too busy to worry!
I’m surprised she didn’t apply the ointment to his wounds.
Now they’re both injured, and in monster territory. They need the experienced hunters to help protect them.
Oh no. I hope she’s okay.
Kaie’s not in great shape, but not in so bad a shape he’d need hospitalization, either.
Enigmatic response yet they are still together over these many months. Hmm.
It’s been months of snippets, but only two and a half weeks of marriage, actually.
Oooo I like all the openings that last line leaves. Nice!
Adann is a little more in touch with her emotions. 😉
Interesting development there! I love how Adann reveals how she feels about Kaie without doing it on purpose. And maybe that gave him pause? Oh, I want to read this entire story all the way through. 🙂
I think it might be scarier to see someone in danger than to be the one in danger–at least sometimes.
I’m working on it! 😉
She makes is so plain how worried she is, and he’s still holding back. Grr! Glad he’s all right though!
Kaie is perfectly willing to let his near-death by monster attack go, without worrying or stressing about it. Some people!
The imagery, the syntax, the emoting, all captivating. The flow of this snippet is clean and clear. Well done.
Glad you liked it! 🙂
I loved her last line. She’s trying to act all tough and in control, then she reveals more. Nice snippet.
Adann is trying to get control of their roller coaster life. Life is not cooperating!
The last line is a good hook. Looking forward to more
Both their reactions are wonderfully in character. Good luck with NaNo!
Glad you think so. And thanks, I’m behind, I need the luck!
I so love the relationship between these two. Her honesty and openness is refreshing and I think–I hope–it’ll soon rub off on him.
I think it already is. He’s expressed concern over her a few times, and he’s learning about her when they’re not fighting for their lives. 😉
Get with the program, Kaie. She’s made it plain how worried she is about you.
Kaie is like a man who rolled his go-cart/ATV/ cycle in a spectacular crash, stood up, and declared he’s ‘fine.’ Adann is the wife demanding he go to the hospital, now!
I love how their relationship is developing and getting closer, even though they’ve had some false starts along the way. I also love the enigmatic last line.
Glad to hear it!
These two! They’re so good in a physical challenge, like frighting your amazing collection of alien animals (said with respect for the imagination!) but they sure don’t talk well in the quiet times. Excellent excerpt and really this has been an intriguing story every step of the way so far.
Different sort of challenge, trying to kill something to kill you back–and talking about feelings. Not the feelings! 😉
My goodness, I can see how that might have taken its toll on her. What an encounter. He, on the other hand, is not being entirely open, I think..LOL!
His adrenaline crash hasn’t caught up to him mentally, quite yet.
The love tension is so perfect in this story – give them a problem they are bold and work together- leave them a lone and they get tongue tied – awesome.
Sometimes it’s easier to deal with people when you have something else to focus on. 😉
Loved that last line she threw back. Hope it gets Kale’s attention as it did mine. 🙂
It definitely wasn’t what he was expecting!